Only Fools
by Mykerinos
Summary: Only fools would want to get involved with him. And that's what she was, a fool.
1. First

_I do not own Harry Potter. No infringement intended, no money made. JK Rowlings owns all._  
  
  
  
**Only Fools**  
  
  
  


Only fools would want to get involved with me. 

I told her that.

And she just... smiled. Stealing the sun out of the sky to give it to me. To bless me with her warmth and beauty. Oblivious to the rest of the world, she granted me a heavenly kiss.

I've tried.

I've tried, Albus, but she wouldn't listen. And now the traces are left. In the room our clothes are laying anywhere. Tonight there had been no time for civilization.

But the deepest traces are left in my soul. In spite of the decisions she's going to make once she wakes up, she'll forever be a part of me. 

I take another look at her. It's weird, seeing her here, laying on _my bed. Her light skin, barely covered by the blankets, seems to glow in the light. Her brown hair lays in waves on her shoulder, and her whole being held a purity that I have never come across before._

Pure innocence... 

She's the opposite of what I am, and the worst thing is that she doesn't realize that. She has no idea of the awful things I've done. But I can't make her realize that, Albus, I really can't. That would mean taking away her innocence, her beauty. I can't do that, and I won't allow anyone else to do that.

I won't. 

And then she wakes up, and her wonderful eyelashes flutter open. She seems puzzled, finding herself in a bed that isn't her own. I just watch her silently. Noticing she's naked, she grabs for the blanket and quickly covers her body. 

Then she looks up and notices me. Her delicious chocolate brown eyes meet mine, and she flushes. I do not smile. Nothing _funny has happened. _

"Good morning," she mutters, and for a moment, I do not know how to react. 

"Morning," I say eventually, my voice as cold and unfriendly as ever.

Obviously she's surprised I'm already dressed. What does she know... I've been watching her for a few hours now, trying to make up my mind. 

"How are you?" she then asks uncomfortably, trying to break the silence. 

I search her eyes quietly, and she quickly looks away. But the split second she did let me look in her eyes was enough for me to see it.

Regret.

She regrets it, Albus, and I can't blame her. I should've known this was just a one-time thing, and nothing more. And I knew.

I stand up, for the first time in hours moving from my place. I jerk my head into the direction of the exit. "You can use my bathroom," I say, ignoring her question.

She looks up at me, grateful and relieved at the same time, and slowly slips out of my bed, still clutching on the blanket. Silently, and slightly embarrassed, she walks past me out of the room. 

I sit down back in my chair, and by the time she has finished, I have decided what to do. 

She returns in one of my oldest robes, and I guess that that hasn't been incidental. So modest, so innocent.

"Is it okay if I, er, borrow your robe?" she asks quietly.

I give her a penetrating look. Such modesty, again. Not wanting to give her an even harder time, I give a nod. 

I see her hesitate, and softly grab her arm. "I'll walk you out," I murmur, and she doesn't dare to object. When we arrive at the door, she turns to me, obviously not knowing what to do or say. 

It is awkward, and so I touch her cheek with one hand softly, while reaching for my wand with the other. I bow forward and kiss her forehead tenderly. "I love you, dearest," I whisper, but before she can realize what I'm saying I cast the charm.

A blast of light, and a dull expression appears on her face. I'm standing on a safe distance now, and send a glare her way.

"May I ask what you're doing here, Miss Granger?" I growl. She blinks a few times, and looks around. Her face turns red again. 

"I don't know, sir, I'm very sorry," she says, and as I just give her a surprised look, she quickly turns around to run out of the dungeons. I stare after her, into the darkness. 

Emptiness, silence. 

I'm sorry, Albus, but I had to do that. For me, for the school. 

I had to protect her innocence, her purity, you know that. 

For her. 

Please understand, she's the opposite of what I am. I've erased the visible traces, Albus. But the deepest traces are left in my soul. In spite of the decision I've made for her, she'll forever be a part of me. I know I'll survive. And I know that, now, she will, too. I had to do it, Albus, and I know you will understand.

Because you're a fool, just like me.


	2. Last

_Dedicated to the ones who read and especially the ones who reviewed..._

**Last**

I know this scene, Albus. It's the same scene that happened exactly one week and 4 days ago. 

You can take away the memory, but not the fire. 

I'm repeating myself here, but I've tried. In vain, I've tried to get myself out of her head. I've broken rules, I've done something that could probably put me back in Azkaban. 

And if anyone discovers, you won't be able to protect me. 

I can just imagine your look. Sad and disappointed. Smiling, but the usual glitter away from your eyes. Not saying a word, as your feelings and thoughts are as clear as the sky on a summer day. 

It makes me sad thinking about it. But it's not that far yet. It's just... this scene. 

Her precious body on my bed. She's sleeping peacefully. Not knowing. Not knowing this has happened before. 

I swore myself this would never happen again, Albus, you know that that was the only reason I cast the spell. I didn't mean for this to happen... 

She has awaken. She sits right up, and stretches her arms, her back. I watch her closely, but involuntarily my eyes linger on her breasts. Looking around, she sees me staring. 

She blushes, and quickly covers her breasts. But this time, she doesn't look away. She observes me, just like I observe her. 

"Good morning," she smiles full confidence. 

"Morning," I mutter. I wonder if this is going to be the exact same conversation as the one we had one week and four days ago. 

"How are you?" she asks, but she doesn't seem the slightest bit uncomfortable. 

"Fine," comes my quick answer. I turn around in my chair, and point a bony finger into the direction of the door to my bathroom. "My bathroom is over there," I say calmly. 

There's a silence. As I turn back, I see she's been watching me. She hasn't moved a single muscle. 

"I know," she then speaks softly. 

I narrow my eyes. 

What does she mean, Albus? She _can't_ know. It's impossible, you know that. 

What is this? I want to scream, I want to grab my wand, torture her, simply because of those 2 words. 

She can't know. Damn it, Albus, can she?! 

I feel panic creeping up my spine, breaking through my skin and finally gently embracing my heart. What if she does know? 

Obviously she has noticed my skin has gone even paler. She stares at me, or rather through me, giving me a sad smile. That's sick, Albus, how can she smile in a situation like this? 

"You can't know," I say eventually. 

I wait for her to say she was just joking, lying or trying to shock me, but none of these happen. Slowly she arises from the bed and approaches me, the blanket tightly wrapped around her. She brings her face closer to mine, until they're only a few inches apart from each other. 

"I do," she whispers, and for a moment my heart stands still. 

"But how…?" 

She turns away, and gives a careless shrug. As she turns back, I see tears in her eyes. Immediately I get stabbed by guilt.

She remembers, Albus. What was it? Was it the smell of herbs from my robe? Were it the clothes she was missing? Was it the passion? But of course not. None of these are strong enough to break the charm… 

"What's wrong?" I finally find myself able to ask. I don't know why I'm asking, as the answer is pretty obvious. 

I look at her intensively. I wonder about all the questions that must be racing through her head, questions I can barely answer myself. Why? What for? Don't you love me? Only wanted the sex? Afraid it would come out? Were you going to do the exact same thing today again? How long did you plan to keep this thing going? Would you really do that? Would you, Severus? 

No, no, of course not. You know it's not like that, Albus, you know I'm not that simple. I know you know, but how am I supposed to explain her? 

But it's not necessary as she does not question me. 

She does not yell. 

No, she's still staring at me, tears in her eyes. It hurts to see her like this, and it hurts even more knowing I caused it. 

I _want_ her to talk, Albus, I can't stand this silence. 

But then it stops. She gives me one last look before turning around and walking out of the room. I think about running after her. Wouldn't it be just wonderful to have us start all over again? Without nasty memories? 

I see you face. Sad and disappointed. Making me see that erasing her memory is not going to solve anything, even if it works. 

She's gone. 

Realized what a fool I am. 

Will you ever?


End file.
